First, Im quite honored to have helped raise $5,000 for Save the Children at last week's Movement for Japan fundraiser at Life Time Fitness. Thank you so much to all who participated and donated, as well as those that simply prayed and sent healing thoughts as your donations. :o)
Let's dive in, shall we...
The title of this blog was created with a conversation I had with a friend and one of my dad's loyal co-workers for years. Yes, we were thinking of the Ace of Base song, The Sign. I know some of you are singing it right now, admit it!!!!
The lyrics go...
"I saw the sign and it open up my eyes
I saw the sign
Life is demanding without understanding.
No one's gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong
But where do you belong? "
Although this song is referenced to a relationship between a woman and a man, it relates to me with the relationship between myself and an earthquake. I am personifying the earthquake, but i figure that is what a disney girl does!
After the earthquake in Japan, I was home for exactly three weeks. It was a very long, trying journey deciding where the next step in life should take me. I kept running the question through my mind, " Do I go back and finish what I started in Japan? or do I take the earthquake as a sign that perhaps I need to re-route my current plan?" For those that are close to me and have known me for quite some time, I am a woman who likes to complete a project, assignment, task, event and see it through to the end. I am not one that likes unfinished business, whether in work, relationship, yoga practice, or cycle of life. Everything in life has a begin, middle, and end and i never want to be left hanging and wondering...what if?
With this being said, after long discussions with my family and friends, research, soul-searching, meditating and journaling I decided last sunday that I would go back to Japan and complete the contract. There was a lot of fear and risk involved with going back, between the unsolved nuclear plant meltdown, possible radiation in food/water which was constantly changing, more after-shocks, etc. After a few days of constantly waking up at 4 am to see the latest article from the US embassy and IAEA website, i decided, "yes," im going back to japan because it is a wonderful opportunity and i started to make solid friendships, enjoying the beautiful costumes and parade floats, rehearsals for Fantasmic...all very very exciting to a performer! The yogini in me still questioned the health risk, but i put my headphones on when she started talking because I wanted to complete this journey in my life. Why would the divine spirit want me to leave my happy life in florida, uproot to tokyo, experience an earthquake just to bring me back to long island? I couldnt justify that answer so my decision was made so i could justify it to myself that Tokyo was the plan, and i must stick to the plan!
My mom likes to cheerfully remind me of the John Lennon quote, "Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans." She likes this quote so much that a few years ago I ordered one of those "design it yourself" sweatshirts with this quote on it. Well, this quote is a true reminder of how living in the present moment is the plan...because you cant plan the next step.
There I was yesterday at 12pm sitting in the airport lounge after just saying goodbye to my parents and feeling slightly uneasy still about journeying to tokyo, when i look at my phone and see a bunch of missed calls from close friends, and a text from one of my best friends saying, " Have you left yet? I think the world is giving you a sign!!!!" Thinking on the positive side i thought ohhh they must have permanently sealed all of the nuclear reactors and they are saying on the news that radiation problem is solved! Little did I know my friend was speaking of the 7.1 earthquake that hit northeast japan. After seeing this I listened to my voice mail with three messages all telling me, "did i hear about the news...dont get on the plane...this isnt safe." Then i check facebook and see posts of the same sort. First thing i do is call my parents and tell them (my mind was so much in shock and my hands were shaking so much that i couldnt even think of what to touch on my phone to dial them). It turns out my parents didnt hear of the news and thought i was playing an april fools joke that i wasnt getting on that plane....
It felt like my own mind was having an earthquake of its own with thoughts pummeling, the tokyo disney path violently shaking, and decisions/panic mounting. I got in touch with a long time yoga student of mine who said to me, "i know this is a dream of yours, but it can wait, its your life." That really hit home for me and the next moment my feet walked to the desk for me and my mouth spoke for me and said, "Please pull my bags from this flight!" They said let me check if they closed out the flight yet and I was told they will be closing it in the next few moments, so should we pull them? I said, "yes." One of my favorite songs to listen to/play for yoga is "Just say yes" by Snow Patrol...there is was for me...just say yes!
There i was thinking that I had life all planned when life was making other plans for me (thank you john lennon). Nothing like making a life changing decision 2 hours before your flight was supposed to bring you overseas for a year! Oy vey!
So..once again heading back home (my mom never even took down the welcome home sign from when i returned a few weeks ago actually). At the moment i didnt feel very welcome, as my own little self contained earthquake left me shattered and in tears. The yogini in me was speaking again, but this time I listened to her! Just like i survived the 9.0, i will survive and move forward from this event. There is so much brightness behind the darkness and it is destined to shine through.
Like i said earlier, i am a woman who doesnt like to leave situations without closure...well this sign from mother nature was my closure for this tokyo contract. Who knows if tokyo disney is a plan for the future? I'm not locking the door with a deadbolt, but just closing it for now until things on the other side calm down a bit. This life cycle wave has crashed to the shore and now its time to start a new..."every ending has a new beginning" (im full of quotes today)!!!
In order to start fresh, I sent my email to tokyo disney yesterday sending my apologies and ending my contract for now. Slate clean! Then contacted the team in walt disney world to be officially employed again as a full time cast member. So thankful that WDW has welcomed a few of my fellow tokyo performers back with sincerely open hearts! I will be heading back there at the end of april and feel illuminated to be returning to a place that feels like a second home..after all it is the "happiest place on earth." What a great place to call home! Hopefully heading back to teaching yoga classes again soon in FL too :o) Mucho importante!
For my friends in NY, i will subbing some classes in the next few weeks so keep your ears opened. Another welcome home class yet again!
To have complete closure I will be ending this blog with this email, to begin a new blog for the next cycle of life. Thank you for reading my story and sharing your thoughts, insights, and hey maybe even a quote that you like too!
The Life Lesson from this Journey:
Live Presently
Appreciate Fully
Listen Whole-Heartedly
Feel Intuitively
Surrender Willingly
And Finally....
Open up your eyes, and see the sign!!!
Love, love, love,
Julie :o)

